I have returned!!

Riiiiight...you've heard that before...probably because there's about 5 posts on this page alone saying that I've finally come back. I swear to you now, audience of mine, that it is true! I have recently started a food blog (recently as in TODAY) and I suddenly became very sad that I have not posted a review in over 2 years! Awful, horrible, heartbreaking, I know...

My new food blog, which can be found here: http://puimcin.blogspot.com/ is all about my environmentalist, and slightly anal, approach to being a foodie. Since I felt an eco-theme arising, my triumphant return to film reviews shall commence with a review of Avatar. After that, I will be compiling a list of bests (and worsts) of last year before the Oscars come out. I've also decided to add a new section called "In my Queue" in which I will be reviewing films seen via my Blockbuster Queue which I had never seen before but may not necessarily be new.

So, welcome back, Me and welcome back readers!

Films of 2007

MORE COMING SOON....

Ghost Rider:
Never do I remember being so livid that a film existed than after seeing Mark Steven Johnson's Ghost Rider. I almost left during the middle of the film. This film was so horrifically bad that it almost made me hate modern cinema for the rest of my life. It's so cliched, ridiculous, over the top, filled with bad acting and bad directing and filmmaking in general. It is ridiculous and awful, and the worst part about it is that people ACTUALLY LIKED IT. Apparently, Average Joe America wants nothing more than bad special effects that are physically impossible, ie when the helicopter is spun out of control by the Rider's whip of fire (yes, a chain that has been enflamed,) and then ends up being pushed out of the way like everything was fine- it doesn't crash. I'm pretty sure that defies physics. Oh, and let's not forget the well endowed Eva Mendes. I'm not sure if they passed a new law, but I'm pretty sure most news reporters have to wear clothes to go on camera. Mendes' costumes all looked liked someone squeezed her into a doll dress- her breasts were practically exploding out (no wonder guys loved this movie.) And the plot made no sense- it was corny, contrived and convienient. Actor Wes Bently should go back to filming plastic bags because he was laughable in this movie. This was an absolute disgusting use of cinema.
OVERALL GRADE: F


Hannibal Rising:
The absolute, hands down, WORST installment of the Lector series yet, and unfortuneately, it really had nothing to do with the lack of Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins did give the Lector character a dimension that just made him interesting, likeable and terrifyng, but the acting was not really at fault here. French actor Gaspard Ulliel, in his first American film, does a fine job as young Lector, but the part given to him was slightly ridiculous. Lector, at the age of 8, was captured by thieves when his parents were killed during the war. The thieves were taking refuge in their house, and found the two children. They chained them up for a long time until the time came when there was no food left, and they, yes I'm actually saying this, ate his sister. They took a little girl outside, chopped her up, and put her in a stew. I guess they were fresh out of fava beans. And so, young Lector grew up in an orphanage, and now that he's older, he makes it his life ambition to find and kill those responsible for sauteeing young Mischa, his sister. Now, how can I speak so lightly of such an ill subject? Well, by the end of the film, anytime the name Mischa is mentioned, I'm pretty sure the audience let out a little chuckle, because every 5 minutes there was another flashback, or nightmare, or verbal recount of his poor Mischa. It became so repetitive that the horror of the issue was completely gone and the audience left desensitized had nothing real to grasp onto anymore, and so it became ridiculous. I blame director Peter Webber for just bad filmmaking.
OVERALL GRADE: D-

I'M BAAAAACK!!!

Now that I've windled my life down to only ONE full time job, I think it's time to start reviewing again. Below are small review for all the films that I saw at the end of 2006. Enjoy!

COMING SOON...

Maybe Bollywood Has More Exciting Deaths: Hollywoodland a triumph for its actors, but a bore for its audiences

Review Coming Soon...


...again, two full time jobs... 15 hours a day...

Now You See It, Now You Want To See It Again: The Illusionist creates magic on screen

Review coming soon...





and, Mr. Gallo, let me rephrase my last comment..... This is what happens when you work TWO full time jobs.

Thank You For Flying Pacific Air: Not to spoil the ending, but there are snakes on that plane

REVIEW COMING SOON...


...this is what happens when you get a full time job...

Sunshine Of Your Love: Little Miss Sunshine will touch your heart and wet your pants

(ˆThis is a short review because it is being written over a year later...ˆ) Little Miss Sunshine is by far my favorite film of this year. It combines exquisite acting with a heartwarming story and that awesome indie filmaking style. Abigail Breslin gives a young Oscar worthy performance (how's that for forshadowing.....) as a little girl who wants more than anything to be in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant. She is, however, anything but pageant material, but her cooky family, Toni Collete, Greg Kinear, Alan Arkin and Paul Dano. Dano plays Breslin's brother, and gives another amazing performance. They are joined by their uncle, Steve Carrell, who proves that he can actually act and not just do comedy.

The performances are so spot on in this film, as they follow the family across country to the pageant in their broken down VW bus. Anything that can go wrong, does, and the family faces one ridiculous event after another. This film is sure to win your hearts as much as it makes you laugh.
OVERALL GRADE: A+

The Shamylan Kids Must Have Really Freaky Dreams: Lady in the Water fantastical bedtime story

At last, after all of my friends bailed on me, and I was about to go alone to the movies, my mom pulled through and accompanied me to see my most anticipated film of the summer. After everyone saw it first, and told me day after day how absolutely horrible it is, I am extremely glad that I did not heed their warnings, because, I must say, I loved it!

Master of para-normalities, M. Night Shyamalan, created a fantastical bed-time story, Lady in the Water, which unfortunately suffered from horrible marketing. Anyone who did a little research on the film knew that this story is based on a bed-time story he told his children, not the twisty horror film the trailers suggest. Anyone going in expecting to be scared, shocked at the ending or expecting another Sixth Sense would have been horribly, horribly dissapointed. Anyone going in expecting a fantastical, magical, wacky, hard to believe, make believe fairy-tale would have been very pleased with what they saw.

With that in mind, this film was slightly over-ambitious and didn't quite reach expectations. It was trying way too hard to be a poiniant adult fairytale, and fell short over and over again. The film asks the audience to suspend their disbelief and just accept some things that are very hard to accept. Things happen, people are given special tasks or powers, that just seem improbable, which makes it even harder to get into. I still did enjoy this film, though on a later second viewing, I became much more aware of its faults and flaws. Definitely worth seeing for the Shamylan fan, but not one of his top achievements.
OVERALL GRADE: C+

They Should Name the Editors Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman: Taladega delivers spurts of comedy, but lacking overall as a movie

Let me first say that I had the pleasure of seeing this film twice opening weekend(ish.) Let me say secondly that I do not suggest that.

The first time I watched Taladega Nights, I very much enjoyed myself and found it quite hilarious. The second time I saw it, I noticed all the painful flaws the film had, and chuckled maybe once.

Anchorman writer/director Adam McKay teamed up with actor/writer Will Ferrell (who plays Ricky Bobby) to display to rest of the world the NASCAR universe with Taladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky Bobby grew up wanting to go fast, and worked his way up to being a member of the pit crew with his best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr., played by the hilarious John C. Reilly. When their driver decides to give up on a race, Bobby takes the wheel and soon becomes NASCAR's top dog. Eventually, a threat enters in the form of a French Ali G, aka Brit mock-hip-hop star, Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays Jean Girrard, a French racecar driver. A rivalry breaks out, and Ricky ends up alone. He and his two sons, Walker and Texas Ranger (Houston Tumlin and Grayson Russel) go home to Ricky's mother (improv funny lady, Jane Lynch) and take a vast emotional trip to recognizing the importance of family and those who love you. I think.

With all the comic genius going into this film, there is no doubt that it is, in fact, very funny. SNL fans will be especially happy every now and then when Molly Shannon makes her very few appearances as the wife of team owner Larry Dennit, played by Greg Germann. Ferrell has his usual funny moments, though Reilly seemed to steal a lot of the comic scenes, especially if you stay to watch the hilarious outtakes. Another thing you may notice if you watch the outtake-filled credits is that oh yeah, Micheal Clarke-Duncan is in this movie... and is actually very funny. Unfortunately for him, in the film, his character is insignificant and his talents wasted. A talent that was not wasted was that of Junebug Amy Adams (no, it's not Isla Fisher, the redhead from Wedding Crashers... although if you think that at first, you're not a loser... it's ok.) Adams' character, Susan, though almost nonexistent the the first three quarters of the movie, comes out towards the end with a rousing monologue of hope and encouragement, and suddenly becomes Ricky's new love interest.

The word "suddently" is a word that can be used a lot to describe the plotline of this film. There are so many holes that I especially noticed the second time around where things jump, stuff seems cut out, and we're rushed into the next scene. Arguably, many films fall into the trap of too much exposition, but in this case, we, the audience, were left wondering what happened. The team owner, Mr. Dennit, suddenly is replaced by his son, Larry Dennit, between two scenes with no explaination. Ricky challeneges Jean Girrard to a race, tells his crew to get his car, and then the next scene is a different day, with him test driving. Also, many of the hilarious lines from the trailer did not exist in the film. For instance, a line from the cougar scene was cut, and the brilliant line in the bar "You can't have two number 1's." "Cause then you'd have 11." was also not in the film, once again, cutting back on Reilly's comic wit. One theory behind this is that the filmmakers purposely left out these scenes so that they could release the "extended edition unrated dvd with 17 minutes of extra footage never before seen!" I guess we'll just have to wait until the dvd release for that.

Overall, if you liked comedies like Anchorman and 40-Year-Old-Virgin, you'll enjoy this film. It definately is not up to par with some of its priors, but it is something worth seeing. If you have not seen it yet at this point, however, it may be worth it just to wait until the dvd release to see if they fill in the gaps. If at all possible, watch it with a gay man... just to watch even him cringe at Baron and Andy Richter, who plays his lover, kiss.

Overall Grade: B

Dorks, Nerds and Sci-Fi Geeks Be Excited!: Clerks II enjoyable for all Kevin Smith fans

Twelve years ago, Kevin Smith gathered up a bunch of his friends from New Jersey, a camera, and a dictionary and created what would become one of the most well known and loved cult indie comedies ever. Since then, Smith and co. have come back time and time again with those same familiar characters to create a following of nerds and regular people alike. This year, Smith went back to the one that started it all and made Clerks II, the sequel to his indie success.

The film starts out almost exactly like the first Clerks, except that when Dante (Brian O'Halloran) opens the store (that yes, he's still working at,) he realized it's on fire. Cut to a couple years later; Dante and Randall (Jeff Anderson) have found new jobs at Mooby's, a fast food restaurant franchise that should seem very familiar to Smith fans. Dante is engaged to be married to the obnoxious Emma, played by Jennifer Schwalbach, who wears a "Mrs. Hicks" shirt through the whole movie. The two of them are planning on leaving New Jersey behind and moving to Florida... with her parents. The film struggles with whether or not he should go- leave the life he's known for over 30 years behind, and start something completely new. Of course, there's also the fact that he has an unlikely love fling going on with triple threat hottie Rosario Dawson, who plays Becky, the temporary manager of Mooby's. There is also a new awkward teen character, Elias, played awkwardly wonderfully by Trevor Fehrman. Throw in a few appearances of Smith's friends including Ben Affleck, Jason Lee and the always hysterical Wanda Sykes, ethnic jokes, beastiality and Star Wars/Hobbit arguments, and you get a pretty good idea of what the movie is like.

If you are a Kevin Smith fan, or atleast like Dogma, then you will probably enjoy this film. It's not the most amazing thing ever, and its faults are ones that are common with most Smith films. Since Smith has such a following, he doesn't really cater to the average movie going audiences, he caters to his fans. It's great that he's able to do that, but let's face it: if you don't like his other movies, save your money. This film has moments of comic brilliance, and also moments that will make you squirm with uncomfortably. Unfortunately, the acting talents of O'halloran and Anderson have not improved much over the past 12 years, but this is forgivable in the end. The film is enjoyable, and definitely worth seeing if you're a Smith fan. It may be one that you can suffer the wait until it comes out on DVD, though. Also, don't forget to sit through the credits, which are quite entertaining, and stay after the credits for the list of Clerks II MySpace Buddies. Also, you may want to rewatch part of Silence of the Lambs before going if you haven't seen it in a while.

Overall Grade: B-

He Must Be Putting Genius in His Metamucil: Scoop Allen's best comedy in years

Mumbling comic wit genius director/actor Woody Allen brings his years of film experience, and obsession with death and love (or should I say, Love and Death,) to the big screen once again with comic murder mystery Scoop. Bringing back three things from his last film, Match Point, pouty lipped beauty, Scarlett Johansson as journalist student Sondra Pransky, his new second favorite city, London, and the gorgeous look of the film, create something brilliant that you would expect from this seasoned filmmaker.

Woody Allen fans will appreciate this film more than others. Murder, mystery, love, death, and of course, the bumbling Allen himself. Atleast this time he does not have a romantic relationship with the beautiful actress who plays opposite with him. Instead, Allen, who plays magician, Splendini, AKA Sid Waterman, pretends to be Sondra Pransky's father. The two get a hot tip from a famous English journalist, Joe Strombel, played by Ian McShane, who just happens to be dead. They pose as father and daughter to uncover the mystery of the Tarot Card killer, which Strombel believes to be none other than handsome Peter Lyman, son of Lord Lyman, played by Wolverine himself, Hugh Jackman. Let the hilarity begin.

My biggest complaint, which I've noticed in the past, is Johansson's acting style. She is very theatrical, which as a theatre major I'm OK with, and which is also very common with Woody's movies. So, as an actor and a theatre major, I'm used to being very nitpicky with acting. I've noticed that sometimes Scarlett seems to be waiting to say her response until the other person has spoken instead of letting her response be in reaction to what the other person has said. If you've ever taken an acting class, you might get what I'm saying. If you don't get what I'm saying, then you probably will never notice it. Again, it's a tiny thing, and I could still enjoy the movie despite it.

If you're not a fan of Woody Allen's humor, you may still enjoy this film, as Johansson does an incredibly hilarious job at the dorky American student visiting England. Still, most of the pee your pants hilarity comes from paying close attention to the ramblings of Mr. Allen. If you were in the crowd that was first in line to see Little Man, then odds are you better skip this one. But if you are a fan of Woody Allen's films, not just his comedies, definitely check this one out. It's by far the funniest movie I've seen all year, and so far my favorite.

Overall Grade: A+

SWF Seeks SWM Who Enjoys Long Flights Over Manhattan and Near Death Experiences: Super Ex-Girlfriend proves most fun superhero movie of the summer.

With two big superhero movies this summer, X-3 and Superman Returns, it seemed almost perfect timing that director Ivan Reitman release a comedy about a super-Uma. The last time we saw Uma Thurman with super powers, she played the very attractive Poison Ivy in the critically mocked Batman & Robin. Luckily for audiences, this film far surpasses what most people consider the worst Batman movie of all time.

Reitman, best known for Ghostbusters and most of the Arnold comedies, brings us a different side of superheros. We know the drama and turmoil most superheros face, and we feel their pain and sympathize with them. Thurman, who plays Jenny Johnson, or G-Girl, is not at all the person we picture when we think of Superman or Batman or even Wolverine. She's actually quite a bitch, excuse my Yiddish, loathes the fact that she has to save people, and abuses her powers. Thurman plays this role beautifully (you really just want to punch her in the face.) Even the super villain, played by cross-dressing, stand-up Brit, Eddie Izzard, is not so much evil as we normally picture them to be. It definitely puts a very interesting insight into super-hero-ness that one never really thought of before.

Frat-pack pretty boy, Luke Wilson plays Matt Saunders, a regular guy with a freaky friend (played by Rainn Wilson, no relation,) who wants nothing more than to get back into the dating circle after a horrible breakup. Through the advice of said freaky friend, Vaughn Haige, he asks out Jenny Johnson on a subway. After an awkward, seemingly one sided relationship, where Matt finds out Jenny's true identity, he sucks it up and tries to end it... peacefully. Of course, as the trailers prove, one does not break the heart of a supergirl and get away with it. Add in the always hysterical (even if she's not doing anything) Anna Faris as the pretty office co-worker, Hannah Lewis, and the wise cracking Wanda Sykes as the boss, Carla Dunkirk, and you get plenty of laughs along the way.

This movie is definitely fun, but nothing majorly spectacular. It is worth seeing to break up the mundaneness of the unsatisfying superhero movies of this year. It's also worth seeing just to see Anna Faris with...... well, I won't spoil it for you. Definitely see this if you're in the mood for a fun, enjoyable comedy this summer. It's entertaining on all levels, although I wouldn't suggest taking the little ones to see it. There are some very awkward sex scenes in it (imagine having sex with a superhero...)

Overall Grade: B

15 Men on a Dead Man's Chest, Yo-ho-ho and a Bottle of Fun!: I promise that Pirates 2 is much more exciting and funny than my horribley corny title

Thank god! Finally, a fun summer movie that's all about being fun! I think with the important dramas and serious movies that have been released over the past few years, the art and depth is coming back to cinema (well, most cinema...) This is a good thing; but consider where this has been a downfall over this past summer: Superman Returns, X-Men3: The Last Stand. Fun action/adventure movies don't have to be anything more than fun! With Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, director Gore Verbinski was able to create a fun, exciting, funny adventure movie that took itself seriously enough to actually be a quality film. The second one, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, cashed in on the first one also to be a fun adventure film. True, it's not as good as the first (few are,) but it is enjoyable visually as well as exciting to watch.

Many critics are complaining that this one suffers from being too similar to the first Pirates. I disagree with the fact that this is a negative aspect. Fantasy adventure movies normally follow a pretty basic outline. It's okay that this film is somewhat formulaic because it's a formula that works. The Pirates' franchise is one that is thriving on the fact that Johnny Depp, who staggers around as Jack Sparrow... sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow, definitely carries this movie. We all know (despite the ending) that Sparrow cannot get killed off because the franchise would sink without him. The film also brings back all the characters that we love from the first one. It does what a lot of sequels do and brings back the funny semi-bad guys as sort of on the good side (there really are no sides for pirates.) Lee Arenberg and Mackenzie Crook come back as Pintel and Regetti, the two clumsy, cross-dressing pirates who were cursed in the first one. Ex-commodore Norrington, Jack Davenport, comes back to join, and all your favorite cast members from the first are the ones who oddly enough survive through the second. And that is okay, why? because we know and love these characters. Fantasy movies don't have to make logical, real world sense. It's about pirates, the Cracken, and a man with tentacles growing out of it's face- that's like complaining that Harry Potter really can't fly because it defies the laws of physics.

Disney displays for the second time this year computer generated genius. The entire face of Davey Jones, played by Bill Nighy (NOT the Science Guy... Nighy played, among other things, washed up pop star Billy Mack in Love Actually,) is C.G.! That may not seem exciting to you if you have not seen the film yet, but I spent a good portion of his screen time trying to figure out how much of his face was makeup and how much was C.G.. I was very impressed to find out that he had no makeup on at all. The special effects in this film will definitely get an Oscar nod, if not a win, because they are absolutely incredible.

As for Orlando Bloom, who returns as good boy Will Turner, and Kiera Knightly, his fiancee, Governor's daughter, and leading lady Elizabeth Swan, they are, as in the first one, just simply there. I tended to like Knightly better in the first one; she had sort of a nasty streak to her in this one.

The biggest difficulty with this one was not that it was over 2 hours long, but that there is a lot of story that needs to be explained which may get very confusing at times. The first movie had a very simplistic curse and a very basic solution. This film had all sorts of complex backstories and thick accents that were sometimes hard to understand (including the amazing performance by 28 Days Later's Naomie Harris as the voodoo woman, Tia Dalma.) That aside, THE BIGGEST complaint I have with this movie is the fact that it DOESN'T END! It suffers from the same thing the Matrix sequels did (besides being completely horrible) in that it combined the last two films into one story. It was very easy here to end the saga of the Dead Man's Chest, and start up a different story, which you find out at the end (or if you check the cast list on IMDB,) in the third movie. But instead, they will drag out Davey Jones' story through the third film.

This movie is so much fun, and so incredibly visually appealing that it would be a crime not to see it in the theatres. If you liked the first Pirates, you're bound to like the second because although they are similar, it's exciting to see the new adventures they go on (and probably more exciting to have actually made it!) Plus, you could really put anything to Klaus Berdolt and Hans Zimmer's music and it would be exciting (thank you, Hans, for keeping the score!) When you think of an adventurous summer movie you'd like to go see, this should be at the top of your list, savvy?.

Overall Grade: A-