Mulan Meets Showgirls: MEMOIRS not all it's cracked up to be

First of all, I'm very thankful that I am not Japanese. No offense to the culture, but, "I want a life that is mine."

The performances in Memoirs of a Geisha were actually very good. Michelle Yeoh, Ken Wantannabe, Ziyi Zhang (or Zhang Ziyi), Youki Hudoh, and Li Gong (the Asian mix between Jennifer Connely in Requim and Cruella DeVille) were all superb in there performances. I do have a question, though- does it matter that Zhang is Chinese??? I was very impressed with their English, as the entire cast works primarily in Asian films. As actors, they all made strong choices, obviously did their homework, and embodied their characters very well.

The story is slightly hard to understand. Being ignorant Americans, we sometimes need things explained. For instance, each character, it seemed, had more than one name, or names similar to another's, so I sometimes lost who they were talking to. And as good as their English was, I almost wished that it was all in Japanese with subtitles. I would much rather read subtitles than find myself stuck on something that I missed. I also wished they explained all the politics of Geisha-ing a little better- at times it made them seem almost like glorified prostitutes, which I know they are not. Since Zhang's character, Sayuri, was clueless going into it, it gave the perfect opportunity to explain things. While they took advantage of this at some points (for instance, the bidding process... creepy...) it could have been used more.

This film is trying to be more beautiful than it is. There are some wonderful shots, like when Chiyo (Sayuri as a girl) is running through those orange Pagodas (is that what they're called?) which is slightly reminiscent of that image from Jules et Jim. The Japanese culture is incredibly beautiful by itself, but it felt like they were trying to force it to be beautiful on film.

The story line is also quite intersting... I have not read the book, but I have a strange feeling that it does not end the same way. In fact, I was disapointed by the ending (although, I know if Speilberg had kept it, they would have been married with 2.3 kids and a dog in the ending shot.) The rest of the film, it appeared (I really have no idea about Japanese culture) tried to stay true to the life of a Geisha that may have happened, but the ending seemed incredibly fake-happy and forced. I wished they also focused more on what Geishas do- we had a couple of glimpses at dances, but all in all I was not impressed. The story itself was huge. I almost felt like I watched an entire trillogy of movies in one.

Perhaps director Rob Marshall should stick to musicals. Or perhaps this story was better left on paper. Either way, it was quite the disapointment. The story is interesting, and worth seeing, but the way it was done was unsatisfying. See this film if you have an interest in the culture, but don't see it if you're a feminist. Overall Grade: C+