15 Men on a Dead Man's Chest, Yo-ho-ho and a Bottle of Fun!: I promise that Pirates 2 is much more exciting and funny than my horribley corny title

Thank god! Finally, a fun summer movie that's all about being fun! I think with the important dramas and serious movies that have been released over the past few years, the art and depth is coming back to cinema (well, most cinema...) This is a good thing; but consider where this has been a downfall over this past summer: Superman Returns, X-Men3: The Last Stand. Fun action/adventure movies don't have to be anything more than fun! With Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, director Gore Verbinski was able to create a fun, exciting, funny adventure movie that took itself seriously enough to actually be a quality film. The second one, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, cashed in on the first one also to be a fun adventure film. True, it's not as good as the first (few are,) but it is enjoyable visually as well as exciting to watch.

Many critics are complaining that this one suffers from being too similar to the first Pirates. I disagree with the fact that this is a negative aspect. Fantasy adventure movies normally follow a pretty basic outline. It's okay that this film is somewhat formulaic because it's a formula that works. The Pirates' franchise is one that is thriving on the fact that Johnny Depp, who staggers around as Jack Sparrow... sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow, definitely carries this movie. We all know (despite the ending) that Sparrow cannot get killed off because the franchise would sink without him. The film also brings back all the characters that we love from the first one. It does what a lot of sequels do and brings back the funny semi-bad guys as sort of on the good side (there really are no sides for pirates.) Lee Arenberg and Mackenzie Crook come back as Pintel and Regetti, the two clumsy, cross-dressing pirates who were cursed in the first one. Ex-commodore Norrington, Jack Davenport, comes back to join, and all your favorite cast members from the first are the ones who oddly enough survive through the second. And that is okay, why? because we know and love these characters. Fantasy movies don't have to make logical, real world sense. It's about pirates, the Cracken, and a man with tentacles growing out of it's face- that's like complaining that Harry Potter really can't fly because it defies the laws of physics.

Disney displays for the second time this year computer generated genius. The entire face of Davey Jones, played by Bill Nighy (NOT the Science Guy... Nighy played, among other things, washed up pop star Billy Mack in Love Actually,) is C.G.! That may not seem exciting to you if you have not seen the film yet, but I spent a good portion of his screen time trying to figure out how much of his face was makeup and how much was C.G.. I was very impressed to find out that he had no makeup on at all. The special effects in this film will definitely get an Oscar nod, if not a win, because they are absolutely incredible.

As for Orlando Bloom, who returns as good boy Will Turner, and Kiera Knightly, his fiancee, Governor's daughter, and leading lady Elizabeth Swan, they are, as in the first one, just simply there. I tended to like Knightly better in the first one; she had sort of a nasty streak to her in this one.

The biggest difficulty with this one was not that it was over 2 hours long, but that there is a lot of story that needs to be explained which may get very confusing at times. The first movie had a very simplistic curse and a very basic solution. This film had all sorts of complex backstories and thick accents that were sometimes hard to understand (including the amazing performance by 28 Days Later's Naomie Harris as the voodoo woman, Tia Dalma.) That aside, THE BIGGEST complaint I have with this movie is the fact that it DOESN'T END! It suffers from the same thing the Matrix sequels did (besides being completely horrible) in that it combined the last two films into one story. It was very easy here to end the saga of the Dead Man's Chest, and start up a different story, which you find out at the end (or if you check the cast list on IMDB,) in the third movie. But instead, they will drag out Davey Jones' story through the third film.

This movie is so much fun, and so incredibly visually appealing that it would be a crime not to see it in the theatres. If you liked the first Pirates, you're bound to like the second because although they are similar, it's exciting to see the new adventures they go on (and probably more exciting to have actually made it!) Plus, you could really put anything to Klaus Berdolt and Hans Zimmer's music and it would be exciting (thank you, Hans, for keeping the score!) When you think of an adventurous summer movie you'd like to go see, this should be at the top of your list, savvy?.

Overall Grade: A-

Able to Leap Tall Plot Points in a Single Bound: Returns will leave you feeling unresolved

Bryan, why didn't you stay with X-Men??? Whyyyy?

Ok, now that I've got that out of my system, we can move on.

Character-loving director Bryan Singer passed on finalizing the X-trilogy to undertake a major project: the new Superman movie, Superman Returns. Ignoring the third and fourth Christopher Reeves' versions, Singer wanted to continue the story of this fictional American hero in a way that today's audiences would enjoy. Similarly to Batman Begins, this was a more modernized and more serious look at the well known story of a comic book legend.

What Singer brought to X-2, deeper views into the characters, he tried desperately to bring to Returns. 6 years ago, relatively unknown Singer brought a fun X-Men movie to the big screen. When he 3 years later released the sequel, audiences came out with more than they expected. The first film was a fun action-hero movie. The second went farther, delving into these characters' backgrounds and lives, bringing depth and reality and current issues to the screen. It was no longer simply good guys versus the bad guys. If you look at Superman throughout the years, his television show, comics and movies have been mostly about good versus evil' Superman versus Lex Luther. Everybody knows the story in some form. The die-hard fans know past the generic story line, but generally, Superman has been about saving the day. Trying to recreate the giant step away from the superhero movie, Singer made Returns more about the characters and the relationships they shared than about Clark saving the day.

The story begins with Clark Kent/Superman, played by young TV star, Brandon Routh, returning much like he first arrived to the Kent farm, by crash landing. He had been gone for five years. We find out that during that five years, he went to Krypton, found nothing, and came back (he must have hit traffic.) Clark moves back to Metropolis and the Daily Planet to find things moving at a very swift pace. He also finds out that ex-love interest Lois Lane, Kate Bosworth, is engaged to editor Perry White's (Frank Langella) nephew, Richard White (X-Men's James Marsden) who she has a son, Jason, with, played by 6 year old child actor, Tristin Lake Leabu. Wait a minute. He's been gone 5 years. The last time him and Lois were together, they slept together. And some time in between, she met, engaged, and mothered a child with this other guy? Forgive me for questioning the laws of nature here, but this boggled my mind a little bit. I'm sure you can see where this ends up in the film, but I won't completely spoil the ending. Ok, so maybe Super-aliens have a longer gestation period, or a faster growing ability. But how do you explain the fact that Bosworth, nine years younger than actress Margot Kidder was when she play Lois in Superman II, is supposed to be five years older than we last saw Lois (who I believe was about 25 in the second film.) And how is it that Routh, also who should be playing a five years older Clark, was actually the same age as Reeves when we last saw him?

Ok, so maybe the age of the actors doesn't matter, it's how they play the characters. Here is where my biggest argument with the whole movie enters. Bosworth's Lane is similar to that of a high school girl! I thought I was watching Mean Girls more than a season, Pulitzer winning, 30 year old journalist/mother. I would have completely ignored the fact that the actors were so young if they had believably played the fact that they were 5 years the senior of the characters in Superman II.

Singer opens up a world of character backgrounds and plots and interesting details to this film that he goes absolutely nowhere with. This is the curse of trying to make it more than just a superhero flick. One thing at a time, Bryan! We know there are going to be sequels, one already in the making for 2006 with Singer as the director, so there is no need to waste all the story possibilities on one film. (SPOILER... sort of) Save Jason's true identity for another movie, tie up the loose ends, and tell us what really happened during those 5 years!! The film shoves so much down our throats and does not give us enough to digest.

The biggest upset was Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. It wasn't Spacey's performance that lacked. I believe it was more the fault of the writing. The brilliant moments Spacey gives us reach not much farther than those shown in the trailers. We lose the humor I know was there somewhere by everything else that was going on. There are one or two moments of pure hilarity in the beginning by young improv comedian, Parker Posey, who plays Lex's woman, Kitty Kowalski. ("Wow, Lex, that's really something... it's like frickin' Gone with the Wind") Not only do we lose the malicious humor of Luthor, but the Clark-looks-just-like-Superman references start out so strong in the beginning of the movie. I was so excited at the prospect of this movie being able to poke fun at that. Then, it just disappears, as does Kent.

This giant, exciting epic film just leaves you as an audience member kind of feeling unsatisfied. It's NOT unenjoyable; it's actually quite fun at points. But it leaves you feeling like it could have been so much more than it was. You actually completely forget that you're watching a Superhero movie since there's barely and superhero-ing!! There are very few action sequences and very few of him saving the world. As simplistic as that sounds, that's what the character of Superman is all about. It's great to see more realistic characters, but it is quite the overload for one film. It's worth seeing in theatres because it is very beautiful to look at. I would recommend it, but you will most likely feel as unsatisfied as I did.

Overall Grade: B-

101 Reasons To Become Bullemic: Devil as painful to watch as Prada is to wear

After seeing Anne Hathaway's boobs in Brokeback Mountain, I knew those Disney, fresh-faced Princess films were long behind her. I was incredibly excited to see her in this new movie with Meryl Streep, an actress who I admire very much, called The Devil Wears Prada. True, I was a little anxious (fashion is not my forte,) but I knew I had little to fear with this film. It's amazing how false confidence in a movie can make you sick to your stomach.

Or maybe it was the quote, "'[size] 2 is the new 4, and 0 is the new 2.' 'I'm a 6.' 'Which is the new 14.'" I suddenly felt very bloated in my size 12 jeans. After I stopped trying to figure out what new size I would be, not only did my head hurt and my self esteem plummet, but I also started a downward path towards loathing of this film. Now, I know that some of this is meant to poke fun at the thinning fashion industry, but some things the film just took so seriously, and instead of enjoying myself, I found myself infuriated!

I am by no means an angry feminist; let me just clear the air on this. I am also quite the fan of satire, which this, by no means, was. My pain came generally from two faults with this movie: mostly the subject matter, and slightly, Hathaway's role.

Hathaway, who plays journalist-hopeful Andy Sachs, gets a temp-to-hire job working at THE fashion magazine, Runway, under editor-in-queen, Miranda Priestly (Streep.) Andy starts out as a liberal, frumpy "I don't care what I look like," (hey, kind of reminds me of... me) girl, who soon (get this...) learns the WONDERS of fashion. Through this 2 hour journey, Sachs learns how to dress, and, the most important thing in life, how to accessorize. She become engulfed in her job. Now, a typical movie would jump right to this strong willed woman standing up for herself and her loved ones. Not this movie- it exclaims, screw them! This is what's important! "Everybody wants to be us." It thrives on business, fashion and popularity being the most important aspect of life. There was always this little bit of doubt that maybe family and friends were more important, but it told young women they have a choice. You can stay with family and friends or you can be a success. If you are a success you will know all the right people, wear all the right clothes, and clothes ARE important! Do not forget that fashion is all around you- even that ugly cerulean sweater you may have bought on clearance for 3.99 at T.J.Maxx. (I threw out my cerulean crayon.) The movie stresses the importance and artistic value of clothing, which I'm sure does have some resonance in the fashion world, but for me, in my ripped sweatpants and free tee-shirt I got from some college event, I felt physically offended by its message.

Of course, in the last five minutes of the film (SPOILER) Andy realized the error of her ways and runs home to her (ex?) boyfriend ready to start back at the bottom. Isn't that sweet?

Let's go back to the story surrounding Hathaway's character. Frumpy girl finds herself in a very high up position. She gets a makeover and suddenly is gorgeous and wonderful. She realizes she's in over her head and that she is forgetting about and losing touch with her friends. Why does that sound familiar? Oh, because it's the same plotline as Princess Diaries! (Except with the lack of nasally humor from Heather Matarazzo.) Enough said.

There was only one aspect of this movie that, for me, made it actually enjoyable, and that was the performance by Meryl Streep. She managed to take this horrible, evil character and give her more substance than I have seen in a long time. She was funny, incredible, and touching. I am sometimes in awe of this woman. If I were to ever watch this movie again, I think I would fast forward to any scene that she's in because she is such a joy to watch. You hate her, but by the end you completely understand and feel for her. It's incredible: I was so infuriated with this film, yet I was absolutely in love with Streep's performance.

My problems with this film seem somewhat insignificant in the long run because I am sort of a tomboyish cynic. I must say, you will be more inclined to enjoy this film if you are of the now-matured audience that first saw Princess Diaries, and if you tend to like boderline-chick-flicky-type movies. If you watch Sex in the City, which is also directed by Prada director, David Frankel, you'll probably like this movie. If you enjoy Meryl Streep, you will absolutely adore her in this film, and no matter how you feel about my opinion on the "issues," her performance is reason enough for anyone to see it. Something to rent for a girl's night get together (unless you invite girl friends like me.)

Overall Grade: C+ (The + is for Meryl.)

Napoleon Complex: Make sure you wear your stretchy pants to see Nacho... just for fun

Anyone familiar with Jared Hess and his awkward sense of humor will know exactly what to expect from his latest film, Nacho Libre. Hess took pop culture by storm two years ago with his indie comedy, Napoleon Dynamite which featured John Hedder as a lanky high schooler with chapped lips (there's one in every school) and Tina Majorino, also known as the girl from Andre. Though everyone may fast forward through the dance scene at the end, Dynamite has become one of the most quoted movies (until the release of last year's 40 Year Old Virgin.) Hess was able to create a very indie very weird film with a PG rating that everybody and their mom (who, by the way, goes to college,) loved, and sold more "Vote for Pedro" shirts than one can even imagine. In going into Nacho Libre, (meaning, "Free Nacho,") I wondered, could he do it again? Could his out-there, slow paced humor carry another PG movie to a pop-cult favorite? And could Jack Black, who surprised us all in King Kong, be not Jack-Black-y?

The answer to the first question... is yet to be determined since the height of Dynamite's popularity was after it's release on video. And the answer to the second question, is... almost.

The story of Nacho, a half Mexican, half Scandinavian (which explains the paleness) brother in a small Catholic Church somewhere in Mexico is a very simple one. Nacho has been in the brotherhood all his life, an outcast, who feels that he does not fit in. He desires to be a fighter (un luchador) and feels that it is his goal in life to achieve this. A pretty nun enters, played by Ana de la Reguera, a poor, dirty Mexican joins, played by Hector Jimenez, and a small boy named Chancho (Darius Rose) gets his hopes up.

Besides the style of Dynamite, Nacho also breaks conventions, meaning it doesn't follow the typical movie formula. Although this film follows much more of a story line than Hess' first, which, arguably, had no story line at all, it doesn't trail along the pattern of every under-dog/boy-meets-girl movie. Audiences expect that typical story, however, which makes this stand out (in a good way.) It's definitely not the same old, same old.

The addition of big name Jack Black to the cast was very shocking to me at first. Jack has a tendency to play very similar characters in most of his movies, but never ceases to amaze me. Those who thought he was just another dirty comedian were stunned by the incredibly kid-friendly and encouraging School of Rock. That answered the question, could Jack Black be PG............13? And most surprising of all was his being cast in Peter Jackson's King Kong released last year. That answered the question, could Jack Black play anyone other than Jack Black? Now, could he do it again? As I said before, almost. He was doing very well, actually, at keeping his character (although, you'd think he'd be able to afford a better linguistic coach... I believe he crossed into a little Italian, maybe even some boderline French at points.) The part that really annoyed me was his song (which is completely spoiled by the trailer... you all know it, "I ate some bugs, I ate some grass...") that he, Nacho, wrote for Sister Encarnacion (Reguera.) Suddenly, I remembered that we were watching Jack Black, and as I saw him mock guitar chords, I knew I had been taken out of the film.

Nacho Libre is the result of a tiny, miraculous low-budget indie film director becoming a huge success and getting a bigger budget. It is a fun film, and definitely something I found humorous at times, but, as with Napoleon Dynamite, something better left until it comes out on DVD. If you did not enjoy Hess' first film, odds are, you will not like this one, since the style and humor is very similar. It's goofy and silly, and ended positively; definitely appropriate for all ages, though I'm not sure if it could hold the attention span of an 8 year old. Again, fun, but nothing spectacular.

Overall Grade: B-