Ghost Rider:
Never do I remember being so livid that a film existed than after seeing Mark Steven Johnson's Ghost Rider. I almost left during the middle of the film. This film was so horrifically bad that it almost made me hate modern cinema for the rest of my life. It's so cliched, ridiculous, over the top, filled with bad acting and bad directing and filmmaking in general. It is ridiculous and awful, and the worst part about it is that people ACTUALLY LIKED IT. Apparently, Average Joe America wants nothing more than bad special effects that are physically impossible, ie when the helicopter is spun out of control by the Rider's whip of fire (yes, a chain that has been enflamed,) and then ends up being pushed out of the way like everything was fine- it doesn't crash. I'm pretty sure that defies physics. Oh, and let's not forget the well endowed Eva Mendes. I'm not sure if they passed a new law, but I'm pretty sure most news reporters have to wear clothes to go on camera. Mendes' costumes all looked liked someone squeezed her into a doll dress- her breasts were practically exploding out (no wonder guys loved this movie.) And the plot made no sense- it was corny, contrived and convienient. Actor Wes Bently should go back to filming plastic bags because he was laughable in this movie. This was an absolute disgusting use of cinema.
OVERALL GRADE: F
Hannibal Rising:
The absolute, hands down, WORST installment of the Lector series yet, and unfortuneately, it really had nothing to do with the lack of Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins did give the Lector character a dimension that just made him interesting, likeable and terrifyng, but the acting was not really at fault here. French actor Gaspard Ulliel, in his first American film, does a fine job as young Lector, but the part given to him was slightly ridiculous. Lector, at the age of 8, was captured by thieves when his parents were killed during the war. The thieves were taking refuge in their house, and found the two children. They chained them up for a long time until the time came when there was no food left, and they, yes I'm actually saying this, ate his sister. They took a little girl outside, chopped her up, and put her in a stew. I guess they were fresh out of fava beans. And so, young Lector grew up in an orphanage, and now that he's older, he makes it his life ambition to find and kill those responsible for sauteeing young Mischa, his sister. Now, how can I speak so lightly of such an ill subject? Well, by the end of the film, anytime the name Mischa is mentioned, I'm pretty sure the audience let out a little chuckle, because every 5 minutes there was another flashback, or nightmare, or verbal recount of his poor Mischa. It became so repetitive that the horror of the issue was completely gone and the audience left desensitized had nothing real to grasp onto anymore, and so it became ridiculous. I blame director Peter Webber for just bad filmmaking.
OVERALL GRADE: D-
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